Don’t get mad at your elitest anime bloggers because they’re weeaboos, man

Bright says "Shut the hell up, please."

Dear lord, here we go again. I’m such a dick.

Ok, guys, listen. There’s these people out there, ok? These people operate under an assumption that Japanese culture is difficult to understand for stupid Americans. Further more, these people. You know, these people? They get a smug sense of satisfaction out of understanding it. I don’t know about you guys, but jerking off over the fact that you do understand Japanese in-jokes in anime seems pretty silly. In fact, it’s weeaboo to the point of absurdity. What I imagine the issue is, and why these poor souls think so highly of themselves, is that, quite bluntly, they are Elitest As Fuck. You know that right from the beginning of 99% of their blog posts, which usually begin with a statement in which they place themselves on a pedastal over every other anime blogger for some trivial bullshit they understand but nobody else cares about.

This isn’t really the case with many other fine anime bloggers from the great nation of America. I mean, it shouldn’t be surprising. American anime blogs aren’t aimed at Japanese people-they’re aimed at Americans. As such, shows that are steeped in varying degrees of cultural quirks are hard to “get”, and it is the duty of these bloggers to warn their readers that they might not understand them either! A weeaboo blogger wets himself over a joke that references something he experienced in the few months he was in Japan and this makes him feel good about himself. Oh, but not you. You’re one of those goddamn Americans aren’t you? You have no idea what the shit he’s going on about! But it’s ok. You really don’t care.

The issue here is that people are scared of creepy weeaboo bloggers. Creepy weeaboo bloggers are offended by people’s lack of knowledge concerning their creepy weeaboo hobbies. This isn’t your fault-it’s theirs. No, it’s not their fault for being elitest. They were just born that way: abhorently close-minded. It’s their fault for expecting Americans to praise series whose humor is completely incomprehensible to them rather than writing them off completely. It’s their fault for not opening their mind to the fact that not everyone cums buckets over how fucking great Japan is. Japan isn’t some magical promised land and you don’t live there, so you don’t give a shit. (I came up with a  joke here concerning Japanese bloggers trying to write about Monty Python, but it’s racist and in bad taste so I won’t make it.)

I’ve now run out of ideas for this parody, and will shut up. I mean, hell, how does he write so many paragraphs about this shit?

Fuck. I’m going to turn this blog into a blog about other anime blogs because I don’t watch enough anime and I really enjoy taking the piss out of other people even when I agree with most of what they’re trying to say.

Next up – bloggers I’m not actually friends with!